Being Bipolar isn't EASY

and the Art of Slowing it Down

Will I be mine?

It seems that I am alone. Well not really, I have solid friends & a great family (Mr. Remarkable), but hypothetically speaking and in so far that we all are. It seems that no one can do this: thrive vs. survive thing but me.

My quagmire might be moderate but it’s a quagmire nonetheless and it’s STUBBORN. But I am drawing a line in the sand and allowing, operative word allow, this to be my rock bottom. Treading water is only attractive in so far that it is easy. And easy, I remind you – oh once ambitious one – isn’t where the glory is at.

I have been feeling a certain desperation lately and I don’t know, I don’t have the answer, but I think it’s a call to commit. Commit to answer the Universe’s call to love myself.

And so this Valentines Day (2018), I proclaim that: I love myself.

I am going to accept the responsibility to take care of myself and stop my self sabotataging ways. I am going to try my best, against the odds. To honor love and respect me. All me. The good, the bad & the ugly.

But I ask: How do I commit? How do I put action behind these words? Can I really draw a line in the sand? How is today any different from two weeks ago? Two months ago? Two years ago? Or five for that matter??

I dunno. I just have to believe. Believe in the power of love.

2 responses to “Will I be mine?

  1. John June 4, 2018 at 1:28 am

    Have you ever heard of Carl Jung’s theory of The Shadow. He talks about the darkness that is within all of us and the fact that most of us try to deny it and hide it, ostracise it from are consciousness. Basically do everything to supress it. According to Jung, which I totally agree with, we have to embrace it and intigrate it into our consciousness in order to truly reach full enlightenment. He says that true wisdom lies in the shadow which is also the subconcious. Our conscious mind is mostly constructed by society and culture, upbringing and education which also teaches us that being absolutely human is wrong. We have to be a certain human to fit into society. This goes causes us to have to supress natural urges and causes inner conflict and cognitive dissonance. It is not that we have to become animals but we have to admit that it exists, respect that part of ourselves, without guilt or shame. Anyway.. long winded as usual. I would recommend further investigation of Jung’s Shadow. Take care, John

    • Jessica Kaushik June 4, 2018 at 4:51 am

      Thx John. I have not heard the shadow theory but Jeff Foster speaks to it in “The Deepest Acceptance”. And I understand that. Most appreciate your share. I’ll reflect on it. Xx

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