Being Bipolar isn't EASY

and the Art of Slowing it Down

Just stop it already

Editing, for me, is like dieting; an endless cycle of yo-yo…

I have had twelve pages (12) of my play, and only twelve (12), written for the last two (2) weeks! Woohoo! Its more that I had this time last year after I read all the how to books.

Problem now is I can’t stop editing. In my defense I am just trying to get the structure down so that the next one hundred and fifty (150) pages ease out of me. Luckily my sister is an actress & she is going to help me set up a few technical things before I continue…

It’s a challenge really; because I am using ‘the structure’ as an excuse to review my story. To ask myself if this autobiography, memoir really, is a good idea…

Further, I am aware that I am preoccupied with getting her feedback. So I had to edit it before I sent her a copy, so that it flowed smoothly – so that it made sense to her… so that I could get positive feedback!? And that’s just it. I am trying to control the feedback; force the outcome?!?! Gather it’s insecurity; gather I want my sister, of all people, to “like” my idea. After all, she is the resident expert.

Note to Reader: I took down my post “[b]B(i)E the play” because I feared that someone might steal my otherwise nebulous idea! How silly is that? Who’s gonna steal an idea about a crazy woman finding herself?

And so you see, I also edit my blog. Usually it takes me a few days to publish a post – sometimes a few weeks… I edit my FaceBook page… often I “comment” on my posts because no one else does and I want to get the conversation going. Build community; support. I know it’s pathetic. I do it unapologetically!

It’s fear really. It’s one of the major flaws of being a Virgo; with being a perfectionist! What I really need is to be content with where I am and what I am capable of TODAY.

In my mailbox this morning I got this:

If you are a writer, take a minute and listen to Daphne & then listen to Paulo Coelhos author of The Alchemist: “Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

4 responses to “Just stop it already

  1. mckarlie September 9, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    You never got back to me on where you sent me a PM dear, did you mean email perhaps?? LOVE Paulo Coelho, Veronika decides to die and 11 minutes are two of my favourite books. All the best with the writing, i find it’s easy to get neurotic about putting your creativity out into the world and fear is such a reductive part of expressing ones self

    • princess marksalot September 10, 2014 at 11:53 am

      sorry mckarlie… never saw the msg. i was a private email!i don’t understand “fear is such a reductive part of expressing ones self” – maybe thats part of the problem? ;)

      • mckarlie September 16, 2014 at 5:20 pm

        i just meant that when expressing yourself creatively fear can really impede the process and it happens to most of us. i will be sure to check my emails soon, sorry i’ve had a lot going on lately.

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