Being Bipolar isn't EASY

and the Art of Slowing it Down

Raising Princess Marksalot

I have argued a myriad of times that I suffer little, in comparison to others with my disorder, due to my upbringing. And now that I have a child of my own, I want to raise him well so that should he inherit my disease that he suffer little as well. To that end, I have searched the internet and broiler plate traits one wants to bestow on their children are: honesty, respect, responsibility, compassion, patience, forgiveness and generosity… and am open to your thoughts.

I gather my parents were rather attentive and sensitive to my uniqueness. Considering all things (I am a middle child), I got the attention that I needed and grew to trust that my family would support me however I chose to live my life. But I wonder: Do I have those broiler plate traits? Or are there other traits that have stopped me from reckless spending, risky sexual encounters or getting so depressed that I wanted to take my life??? What makes me special in that regard?

If I am honest – sometimes I hide the truth… is concealing lying? I think it is. I respect other people’s ideas about politics and religion… and ask that they respect mine (however nebulous they are) is that enough? I think I am responsible, I pay my bills on time but want to live a little greener; not showering every day isn’t cutting it! I am compassionate. I cannot always relate to one’s trials and tribulations but feel for their struggles/ losses and believe I can because I believe we were all just dealt different cards. (There is no one else just like me or you in this world. Each and everyone of us are very very special.) Patience isn’t my virtue. I should probably work on that! I know how to forgive and have finally learnt how to forget. I am generous, I like giving gifts but that’s pretty superficial. I wonder am I generous at heart? Does it count that I try to give gifts that have symbolic meaning or that I think/know the receiver would want?

It’s difficult to scratch beneath the surface and come to some resolve over how I lucked out… I trust some of it is in the genes but practically speaking someone must be researching what credit is to be given to our environment(s)??!?!

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